Timid fighters

[Big King Jimmy]

That is a good question from a much more unique perspective than most of these posters.

The anxiety your feeling is a learned response, your bodies self preservation mode kicking into high gear after many repeated bad situations. The only way you're going to get over it is to "unlearn" the response, or in my opinion overwrite it with a new one.

I'm not trying to say I know you, or your situation, because I'm pretty sure I don't, but I've met people in similar situations who had that effect bleed over into several aspects of their lives. Overwriting this response could help other areas of your life as well. I know I've become a more confrontational person outside of fighting (in a positive way) due to the amount of confrontation I face in fighting.

So, the answer is probably not one you want to hear, but I think it's just time. It's going out to practice and knowing your not just practicing fighting but trying to rewire the way your brain responds to certain stimuli (and that goes for everyone.).

Maybe start by sparing with your husband more. I mean, I'm sure your far more comfortable with him than the average Belegarth fighter, but your brain might think 90% husband and 10% male, and over time it won't fix the issue but move it in the right direction. Keep in mind that the other fighters are your friends, and they aren't out to actually hurt you. That might not be true 100% of the time, but it should be.

[Arrakis]

Wysteria, sounds like Belegarth could be a good place where you know intellectually that you're safe where you could work through your fear issues regarding men. I'd just stick to the sidelines, sparring people that you know and having them start slow and get a little bolder when you think you're ready for it.

Flight isn't a bad instinct to have, but it is nice to have the Fight option built in there, too.

[Davit]

I'm going to agree with Jimmy on this one, however if you do see a therapist at all, talk it over with them. The stuff we are saying is just based on personal experiences, and in my case a few psych classes, where as if you talk to a therapist you will get someone who has a bit more research attached to the things (hopefully anyways) they tell you to do.

Another thing to add here, people have to WANT to get over being timid. I know that every person who has ever been labeled as timid says they want to get over it, but not all really do. Someone has to want to change before they will, I have confidence that wysteria will, because she is talking to people about it, rather than being talked too about it, but maybe random guy X just isn't ready to not be timid yet. Give people time before you start taking measures to make them less timid.

[Jeean]

I tell the new guys that getting used to being hit, sticking to a team, hitting others - takes a while to get into the groove. So i make sure to give them the basics, some tips, and let em have at it! Encouragement is just as good as a suit of armor.

the stress thing sucks! have you tried archery? itsa bit safer ^^; ppl don't generally hit archers hard or anything

[bo1]

try calling yourself dead before they get to that charge range. it will give you control over the situation which may help out. my .02 psych degree

[Wysteria]

Thanks for the replies guys. I got to watch the battle for a bit at Melcrome (sorry, I can't spell) and it got me more interested in doing the archery as a beginning step. If I can get some time Tuesdays I'm going to try and go to the TA practices and use the husbands bow and see how it goes.

P.S. I was the one with the two little dogs taking pictures. Let me know if you want to see the pics I took - don't know how good they'll be, but maybe a couple nice ones, haha!

[Big King Jimmy]

WE LOVE PICTURES.

Again, cute dags.

[Juniper Wynd]

For timid people in our group we have actually been pretty lucky. If you have people who will help work with a person it makes things much easier.

With new people we will take them aside to make sure they have a grasp of how it works and I will stand aside, watching them fight one of or more experienced guys...when they are being too timid I will tell them so and then I start barking at them I just yell "get 'em...attack attack attack! move in...kill him!" or something along those lines. When they are standing face to face with someone and they have another person standing behind them yelling for them to kill their enemy...it makes it a little easier.

I'm not yelling in a mean way...just trying to encourage a little courage.

One on one training does ~wonders~ for people when they have this kind of problem. So does praise...if you see someone who is normally timid do something not timid...praise them on it. That will help boost them in a lot of ways.

I tend to herald a lot but I razz the guys hard core. If encouragement doesn't work them shaming them usually does it. We have both sorts of people and now they are all less timid for sure.

[Denidil]

And since a lot of vet fighters like to intimidate the newbies (not that I blame them, haha!) it takes all my willpower to just stand there, during which time I lose focus and end up getting the crap walloped out of me

Calarn and I aren't that scary!

[edit]
lol didn't notice this was an 2008 thread... I just searched for my wife's posts and was reading them.

[The Lost Celt]

One of the things I've seen that helped if you're sparring with them start at a disadvantage. A lot of times when I do this the first bit is them just trying to hit me.

If they have single blue I have a dagger, if sword and board dagger and shield or just dagger - hell dagger and shield vs dagger shield is VERY fun and gets people to react close quarters, kinda gets them out of their comfort zone a little at a time.

Get them to look at their strong/weak points, i.e. I don't have long monkey arms so if I don't find an opening and rush I'm more likely to get picked off, try to take the time to explain your strategy and why you do it, tell them where you might be at advantage or disadvantage directly against them based on weapon/body type.

Another thing I like to do 3/4 speed or such when teaching shield moves, more specifically using a punch shield to block the persons sword arm in close quarters - I won't strike, I just hold it there as long as I can and see what they do, when I leg them I bowl them over slowly the first few times and pin them down to see what they do.

As far as in groups, I tend to be a bit of a jerk, new people just need a little direction it seems and a little yelling seems to whip them in shape when they notice they're killing more people by working together. I do pole fighting so when I'm in the lead by a good five feet and there's a few shieldmen behind me I have to loudly announce "Where's my line?!, why is there this huge hole here, et cetera" and they'll form up, likewise I yell at new spear fighters for being tip level to a shieldman and ask them how the hell they're going to stab someone from there when the shieldman can reach further, things of that nature.

A little constructive criticism seems to go a long way in that department...

[The Lost Celt]

One more thing sprang to mind, from my last training session...

Lots of newer fighters tend to target the sword more than the body, they tend to swing "around" the weapon rather than straight towards the body (what's the quickest way around a circle, through the center!) I tell them I'm aiming at the torso and anything I hit along the way is considered a bonus...

But one of the bigger flaws most newbs tend to have is they're only thinking of getting that one shot in, whether it be arm or whatever, when I told my last trainee to think at least three shots ahead (okay, you hit here I block here what's open?) there was a definite improvement.

I think those are the first two major hurtles a newer player has to overcome.

[Edirkan]

We have a new member in our realm that we're trying to break him of his timidity. We started him out single blue to see what he would do on his own power....we got weak shots and LOTS of cringing when a swing comes his way. he seemed to pick up swing power after an hour of mechanics training and footwork, cringing still happens but we have an Idea for it. Will post later with exercise and results.

[Blackwolfe]

One more thing sprang to mind, from my last training session...

Lots of newer fighters tend to target the sword more than the body, they tend to swing "around" the weapon rather than straight towards the body (what's the quickest way around a circle, through the center!) I tell them I'm aiming at the torso and anything I hit along the way is considered a bonus...

But one of the bigger flaws most newbs tend to have is they're only thinking of getting that one shot in, whether it be arm or whatever, when I told my last trainee to think at least three shots ahead (okay, you hit here I block here what's open?) there was a definite improvement.

I think those are the first two major hurtles a newer player has to overcome.

Blade chasing is a natural noobie mistake. I make My new fighters hold My eye contact and go slow with them until they get the hang of seeing the shoulders move.. .when they stop watching and chasing the blade and still block ok we start working on attacks.

[Blackwolfe]

We have a new member in our realm that we're trying to break him of his timidity. We started him out single blue to see what he would do on his own power....we got weak shots and LOTS of cringing when a swing comes his way. he seemed to pick up swing power after an hour of mechanics training and footwork, cringing still happens but we have an Idea for it. Will post later with exercise and results.

Is he being forced to play?

[Blackwolfe]

Yeah, badass as Dagg is, I just don't understand the mentality.

About the only time I'll back away from a fighter that I'm not backpedaling from in an engagement is when it's Sleeper with a 6+ ft. redsword and I'm Florentining.

Amen.

[Mulligan]

Something that helped me quite a bit to overcome timidity was fighting against a group of 3 to 4 other guys at once. The way it works is they come at you formed up and you have to kill all of them, and they keep wounds. You, however get to respawn every time you die by standing up and calling "Lay on!" This is really hard, but gets to be fun when you are fighting against guys experienced guys and you kill them all. Eventually you do kill them all. I got to fight against Rueben, Leaf, and Kage here in Ebonhold and got to respawn while they kept their wounds. It was a big time learning experience, but also forced me to fight without timidity.

[Edirkan]

We don't force anyone to play, he said he likes the sport, but he's one of those people who have been rather sheltered, even into adulthood. most dangerous thing he's ever done is play soccer. Rather overbearing mother figure (she doesnt know he's doing this, lest she flip out, and the guy's 18 btw). So he's developed habits that need breaking. Our idea idea is to give him Sword and Board and have him just play defense against one guy, without cringing or fleeing, and eventually add 1-2 more attackers into the mix. Along with practice duels like normal, we hope he'll become the better fighter because of it.

[Gamera]

I'm not sure if it help him in his case, but one thing that helps me is to exhale sharply when I'm surprised by something. It prevents me from holding my breath or gasping for a breath and thus shifts me from freezing to getting into motion. Bonus points if you put on the biggest **** eating grin or slasher smile as you do this.

If you haven't already, you could try selling him on the idea that he, through his movements and actions, can be in control of the airspace around him. He may not have the skill or strength to do it immediately, but it gives him something that is his to protect.

It's not a big mental jump from protecting that airspace to actively bending people to your will when they enter that airspace by shutting down their options/approaches and forcing them to react to you.