Right. Let's try this. I assume you have the UK orcs there, because they are the prettiest. So I'll go from there.
When securing things to your garb, it is important to remember
that you will be running, and it will be flying about, and others
will try to hit you, and inevitably, they will and up hitting you
right where you got bits tied to you. I have tried this.
Trinkets getting smashed into your legs can suck.
Use whatever you have on hand. You're an orc. You concern is
not how pretty it is, you want that trophy **** to stay on.
Bolt that crap on. If you can't do that, lash it on. I recommend latigo
lace. My entire set of armor is lashed together using latigo lace,
no bolts. I wanted an organic look. Test that lace before using it.
See how much strength it takes to snap it. If the leather lace is
supple and strong, knock yourself out tying yourself up.
Use both too. You're an orc. The key is to create a chaotic look
that is still harmonious, still looks good.
I don't technically clean my monster gear. I'm a goblin, you're an
orc. How many baths do you really take? And how much would
you clean your armor? Again, it's the intentional chaos. Let it fall
apart a bit, let it get dirty. That is what is gonna make you stand
apart. You're gonna look like a real orc, who has been rolling in
blood and mud and slaughtering *.
However, you don't want to get stinky. No one wants to hang
out with you when you actually smell like an orc.
FEBREEZE THAT ****.
Wash it when it gets super bad, but otherwise, febreeze, or
spot clean. Want it to smell exotic? Incense! When not using it,
pack it in a sealed container with a **** ton of incense. Eventually,
the smell will stick to your gear. Hell, rub some exotic oils into it too.
Get some nice exotic smelling gear, but some coolthentic looking stains.
You'll want to talk to a rules monger about armor blending in with gear.
I think it does have to be distinguishable as armor though.
Be prepared to loose stuff. Bits fall off, **** will tear. This is fine.
Your stuff will begin to look coolthenic, because as any orc would,
you repair it until it falls apart, and when you can't fix it anymore,
tack something on over it.
Don't put any super important to you trinkets on, cos it can break
and fall off.
Pooping sucks, cos you'll have layers to get through. I hate that.
Practice with your kit at home, in your realm. Something will look
awesome, and sound awesome, and then you'll get on the field,
and it will fall to ****. Most gear like this goes through many
versions as you figure out what will and won't work.
Give yourself enough time to get dressed. You're gonna be awesome
now, and awesome doesn't just roll out of bed and look that good.
It's going to be work. Don't give up, and take the time to look better
than everybody else.
**** the haters.
Also, THRIFT STORES. And antique stores, and flea markets.
They are your friend. Don't buy it or make it brand new if you
don't have to. Make your garb out of the old leather jackets there,
cut up and re-purposed. Far cheaper than buying suede and leather new.
Buy furs coats from thrift stores, cut that **** up into awesome bits.
Be careful of thrift store fur though. Often times it is old, and dried out.
You can't fix that. It will be weak, and it will fall apart. You'll learn to tell
the difference.
Look at his happy *.
