by Chicken » Fri Feb 19, 2010 9:46 am
I like your first description, nice and to the point. You could probably actually get rid of the second paragraph completely if space requires.
Personally, I'm a big fan of using actual pictures. Most people have no idea what we do, and while that's a nice, tight description, pictures tell the story even better. A few, well cropped exciting shots of people in good garb and/or armor, especially people they're likely to actually see at your practices, would help a lot.
You also might want to include your realm name and colors more prominently. Belegarth is certainly easier to find by googling than "Northlands", which'll find you half the car dealerships in the upper midwest, but it still wouldn't hurt to make it more clear who you are and what you look like, especially since you have nice and distinctively medieval-looking heraldry.
Depending on where you're putting it up, tear-away tags can be a big help, especially if you have a website or email to give out.
Good luck!
WikifiedSquire to Sir Kyrian; Commander, Clan of the Hydra
"There is only one appropriate attack for all polearms, and that is the thrust."Antonio Manciolino, Opera Nova, 1531